Running With The Doctor
by lokiMMXII
Summary: An unspecified companion's experience of travelling with The Doctor.


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Disclaimer: I don't own, some one else does

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Running With The Doctor

You live your life like most others around you, going through the motions day by day and nothing extraordinary ever seems to happen. Not that you're aware of anyway. There may be events broadcast on the news that make you pause for thought, or articles in the newspaper which catch your eye, only for the slightest of seconds and then...you flip past it, find the TV section, and immerse yourself in another world. Whatever it was it wasn't that interesting, it's nothing exciting, it doesn't affect you.

Then, one day something extraordinary does happen. Something breathtaking, something terrifying. You think that this could be the end of you, everyone here, maybe even the world. You fight and you run and you search for a way to stop it; because you_ have _to, because it _can't _end here and now, because you _need _to survive. Then, just when you think you're out of your depth, He comes along with those eyes that look too old for his face, and so very wise, with a manic grin, wild hair and all the answers. He speaks of things you don't understand, things which are quite literally out of this world. There is so much energy buzzing around him, like a static charge crackling in the air. His speech and movements are erratic although everything appears in slow motion to you, as if your mind needs to capture and record every detail. He is mesmerising. Then suddenly He grabs your hand. You don't question him. There's not much time now.

Now you're running faster then you've ever have before, you can feel your heart pounding against your ribcage and your lungs struggling to take in air, yet you don't want to stop. Not now, Not ever. You're closer to death than you ever have been in your entire life, you're practically staring it in the face yet you can barely stop a grin forming because you have never felt so alive.

He asks you to come with him and everything in you screams out for you to say yes, so you do. You don't consider what you'll be leaving behind. You won't be gone that long. Plus he can travel in time. Every time you think of that it makes you want to break down into hysterics. Of course he can travel in time. Everything is possible when it comes to this impossible man. Least that's the way it seems.

He shows you time and space, the entire cosmos. Anywhere. Anywhen. That's what he says. Those stars that seemed so far away are now burning bright in front of your eyes. You see alien worlds, you walk upon them, converse with the locals and you'd think you were dreaming if it wasn't for the fact you know your imagination has limitations and these worlds possess limitless detail. There's dangers though, oh there is dangers. The monsters, the battles, the wars, threats of world destruction, galactic destruction and universal destruction but it's fine because you'll stop them. You and him. Together. That feeling that you got the day you met him never goes away, never fades. If anything it gets stronger every time you run, every time you're racing against the clock and staring down death. It's intoxicating, like a drug. He's like a drug. That grin that once just barely stopped forming now is practically ever present, and the majority of the time gives way to laughter. He laughs along with you.

However there is times when too many people die, when things go wrong, when events are too devastating and during these times you see Him go from erratic and cheerful to suddenly so still, so furious. It's during these times you can see the man that can stop entire armies without ever firing a shot, the man that strikes both fear and hope into the hearts of so many. It's moments like these you see the Time Lord. You're reminded he is an alien, he is over 900 years and he has seen and done so much. And most of all you're reminded of why he needs you.

One day you come to realise you don't know what _day_ it is, what time it is back home or how long you've been gone. Of course there is no set time or days on the TARDIS. The day begins when you wake up and ends when you go to sleep. You find yourself frantically digging through your possessions for anything that can give you a hint, anything at all. You just _need _to know. Then He appears at your door with that grin and a new adventure at hand. You forget all about home. It's time to run again.

You dodge death yet again, some may say you're lucky, but he knows, and you know, that its all about probability. Every time you dodge the bullet, sometimes literally dodge the bullet, the probability that next time you may just be a second slower gets higher. It's all a game a chance and you can't always win. This time you were closer then you ever were before. The thing is that what terrified you the most wasn't that you were about to die but you were about to die and your family, your friends had no clue where you were. Would He tell your family what happened? If there was a body would He take it to them? You're not sure. He did something to your phone. You can call home if you want. You never do though. You can't even remember where your phone is. At first it was just because you never thought about it, you never thought you'd stay this long but now it's because you don't know what you'd say to them. Would you tell them you have gone on some vacation travelling across the world or would you tell them the truth? They certainly wouldn't believe it. Even if you gave them proof they still wouldn't be able to begin to comprehend what you've seen, what you've done. Unless you experience it you just can't understand. You have an entirely different perspective on everything. There just isn't words to describe it. But it's fine. He is the only one here and you don't have to explain anything to Him. He understands.

At some point you come to a fork in the road. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. You know you've reached it. You're not in too deep yet but you're at that point. As the clichéd as the remark is you've reached the point of no return. You know so much now about the universe, about the future it's almost dangerous for you to return to your time, your planet, the home you forgot. One slip from you could change everything. As well as that, He may have a time machine but He can't stop you from ageing, He can't freeze you in place, as much as you know He wishes He could. You can leave now or carry on living the way you have been living, and eventually come face to face with death for the final time. People don't die of old age on the TARDIS, not even He can run forever. Then it hits you. His lifespan may be long but he is not immortal, He is not a god no matter what others say. He can die...and that thought never crossed your mind once in all your journey. He was the impossible man with all the answers but he was just a man. A genius, a hero. an alien but above all else just a man. While you're sitting there contemplating you think that sometimes even he forgets this.

The choice weighs heavy on you, a constant burden. You'd always thought that you'd stay with Him till the end. You were prepared to run with Him across the universe until your limbs screamed in protest, till your lungs collapsed and your body failed you. You'd sacrifice your life for Him, you'd give up everything and He knows that. What makes this choice so difficult is you know no matter what you'll break His hearts. If you stay He'll be forced to watch you age, to eventually see you die and maybe even die for Him. He would tear himself up over that, you know this, He would blame himself for all of it, for your death, for taking you, for not making you leave. He'd regret asking you to come with Him and He already feels so much guilt and pain. If you leave you go back to that life you had, where nothing happened and you just went through the motions day to day. Not only that but you'd be leaving Him alone, god knows how long it'd take for him to find another companion. He needs somebody.

A decision has to be made. You know which one He'd prefer. You know which one would hurt Him less. So you decide even though the pain in your own heart is almost unbearable.

When you tell Him he tries to talk you round, He mention the places He always wanted to show you in vivid detail and reminds you of all the good times you shared. He's almost desperate. You almost give in to Him, jump at the chance to run with Him again and begin to try to convince yourself it'll be the last time. Then you remember He needs you. This time He needs you to make the right decision because He can't do it on His own.

You're outside your home and you still don't know how long it's been since you left. He stands there, leaning against the TARDIS, a good six feet away, while you sit on the wall. He says he'll come by one day to see how you're doing. You know this is a lie, a comforting lie. You say goodbye as if it's goodnight and you're going to see each other in the morning, and as He turns to open the doors to the TARDIS you smile. This time it's your comforting lie. He tried to give you hope that He'd be back one day, that this wasn't really goodbye. You'd tried to give Him hope that you'd be fine, you'd live happily ever after. As the TARDIS engines begin to whir you turn away. You're back home. Back to your family, your friends, your job, your taxes, your bills and the monotony of everyday human events. You see why the choice had to be made now, you're beginning to refer to humanity as if you're not part of it.

In a sense you do live happily ever after. You get married, you have children and they have children. You live a comfortable and average middle class life, you worked a comfortable and average middle class job. There were times when a story on the News would make you pause for thought or an article in the newspaper would catch your eye because somehow you'd just know He was involved. You never told anyone the stories of the adventures you had with that man, not a soul. As far as you were concerned, there was no way the things you did and saw or what He was could be properly justified by any words, in any language. Some of the adventures escape you now. Your memory isn't what it used to be but sometimes when you look up at the night sky you remember; breathtaking sights, the grind of an engine, the feel of alien soil beneath your feet, your heart pounding, your lungs struggling, the colours of so many different skies and a time when you were so close to the stars you could almost touch them. You remember wild hair, wise eyes and a manic grin. Above all else you remember running with a man that called himself The Doctor.

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End file.
